Fearless Females: What happened to…..Part 2

Lisa Alzo at The Accidental Genealogist launched a series of 31 blogging prompts for celebrating and honoring the "fearless females" in our family trees in March, 2010. This year the series is being revisited in honor of National Women’s History Month and the purpose is to focus on the women in our lives and to make sure their stories are told.

Today’s prompt is from March 11, part 2: Did you have any female ancestors who died young or from tragic or unexpected circumstances? Describe and how did this affect the family?

One of my favorite subjects has been my 3rd great grandfather, Emery Waller.  Besides being a favorite, Emery has brought me several new cousins and for someone who comes from a very small family, getting to know these cousins has been a lot of fun (Sarah, we MUST meet in real life soon!).  Emery also brings me a Fearless Female – his first wife, Rebecca Parker.

Based on the age shown on Rebecca’s gravestone, she was born on 10 Oct 1814.  I don’t know much about Rebecca except that she was married to Emery in Hamilton County, Ohio on 31 Jan 1833 by F.N. Skillman, Justice of the Peace.



Emery and Rebecca’s first child, Mary Ann, was born shortly thereafter, sometime in 1833.  By 1838, another daughter, Caroline, would join the family.  The 1840 census shows them in Liberty, Butler County, Ohio.  It appears that another daughter, Sarah, was born in 1842 and then things changed for this family. 

On 7 Feb 1845, Rebecca gave birth to her fourth daughter, my second great grandmother, and what should have been a happy occasion was anything but.  Six days later, on 13 Feb 1845, Rebecca Parker Waller was dead.  At 30 years, 4 months, and 5 days she was gone, leaving Emery alone with four daughters.  The fourth daughter was named Rebecca Moriah, most likely in memory of her mother.  Rebecca Parker Waller is buried in Plum Run Cemetery, Warren County, Ohio.

Memory of Rebecca Consort of E L Waller. She departed this Life February 13, 1845; Aged 30 Years, 4 months, and 5 days Look at this as you pas by, as you are now so once was I, as I am now so you must be. For death and follow me.

Life for Emery and the girls was about to change dramatically.  How would he care for these young children?  What would he do?  Why, he would remarry and his new wife would care for them.  And that’s just what he did.  On either 22 Jul or 23 Jul 1845, Emery and Clarinda Meeker were married.  I’ve found reference to several different names for Clarinda so it could be that Meeker was Clarinda’s married name.







By 1850 the family had moved to Clinton, Illinois, and the two oldest girls, Mary Ann and Caroline, were living with Emery’s parents, Salmon and Amelia Waller, just two doors from Emery and Clarinda.  Emery and Clarinda had added two more daughters, Elizabeth (b. 1846) and Nancy Hannah (b. 1848) to the family.

The 1860 census finds the family in Santa Ana, Illinois and while more children had joined the family, some had left.  Living in the household were Rebecca, Elizabeth, Nancy Hannah, George (b. 1855), and Minnie (b. 1857).  Mary Ann and Caroline were now married and living nearby.  But Sarah was gone, and daughter Alice, who was born in 1851, was also gone.  And somewhere along the line, “Sons Waller”, the sons of Rev. E.L. Waller and C. Waller, were born and died as they are buried in McGraw Cemetery in Clinton, Illinois.  Emery and Clarinda had been married for 40 years when Clarinda died in 1885 and, once again, Emery buried his wife.

The family was forever changed on 13 Feb 1845 when Rebecca Parker Waller, wife of Emery Waller, the mother of four young daughters, and my 3rd great grandmother, died.  

I found a new great great great grandmother

One of the problems I have with researching my family is jumping around from ancestor to ancestor.  I'll start the day with my father's side of the family at the turn of the 20th century and by the end the day of the day, I'm working on my mother's side during the Revolutionary War.  And then when I throw in my husband's family, there's a real hodge podge of ancestors running through my brain!

So before I go back to the Gunzendorfers, I must stay with my Civil War guy, Emery Waller.  As I mentioned earlier, Emery was my 3rd great grandfather.  Emery's daughter, Rebecca, was my great great grandmother and her daughter, Mabel, was the only great grandmother I had the pleasure of knowing.


Mabel McAboy Fitzgerald


Mabel and her husband, Edward Fitzgerald, lived in Fresno near both sets of grandparents so we were fortunate to have them both in our lives until I was about 12 years old.  Plus my grandmother, Mabel and Edward's daughter, told me that her grandmother was named Rebecca the day she learned that our daughter had been given the middle name of Rebecca.  Who knew that almost 36 years later that name would become so important to my story?

Over the last year I've been researching Emery's clan and everything has pointed to his wife, Clarinda Meeker (or Epesson) as the mother of my 2nd great grandmother, Rebecca.  Every public tree I'd seen on ancestry.com, every census, every THING pointed to Clarinda as Rebecca's mother.  But was she born Meeker or Epesson?

As I continued with my search, I was able to locate a marriage record for Emery and Clarinda from July, 1845.  That was a bit confusing, though, as their daughter, Rebecca, was born February 7, 1845.  While I know it's possible that Rebecca was born prior to their marriage, it just wasn't adding up.

Until I went back to Family Search and found this.....

Yes, that's right.  Emery Waller married Rebecca Parker on January 31, 1833 in Hamilton County, Ohio!

What happened to that marriage?  Was this Rebecca the mother and namesake of "my" Rebecca?  What about Clarinda?  I had so many questions I didn't know where to start.

Which led me to the Warren County Historical Society in Ohio.  "My" Rebecca was born in Warren County and the marriage record for Emery and Clarinda was there.  A very nice researcher answered my call and quickly agreed to do some research for me for a nominal fee.  And this is what he told me the other day:

Hi Debi-

Well I have, what I feel, is some very good news. I have found the burial site of "Rebecca Waller consort of E.L." she died on Feb. 13 1845 at the age of 30 years 4 months and 3 days. The date of her death has her die 6 days after your great great grandmother was born on Feb. 7 1845. She, in all probability, died as a result of the complicated birth of your great great grandmother who was named Rebecca in honor of her mother.

I am prepared to send you the cemetery records and copies of modern and historic maps of of the cemetery's location. I also have the marriage record of Emery and Clarinda five months after Rebecca's death.

WOW!  Rebecca Parker was my 3rd great grandmother!  This woman lost her life because she gave life.  So now the name Rebecca has even more meaning for me.

Poor Emery must have been devastated.  Here he was left with an infant (and, perhaps, a toddler as there may have been an older child) and he turned to Clarinda.  Together they had five more children and Clarinda must have cared for all of them by herself while Emery was away at war. 

It's amazing how a little detail like this changes everything.  My mind can't stop thinking about those fateful days in February, 1845.  The complete joy of bringing a new life into the world followed almost immediately by the grief of losing a wife/mother/daughter/sister.  And then the new chapter that began just five months later with the marriage of Emery and Clarinda.

While I've not received the cemetery information from Warren County yet, I did find Rebecca's memorial at Findagrave and have contacted the memorial manager in order to update the information.  I hope there's not a lot of drama with that :-(

And that's how I found a new great great great grandmother!