52 Ancestors: I’d Like to Meet

I’m a little behind with 52 Ancestors but I can’t let this prompt go by as I’ve often thought about all of the ancestors I’d like to meet.  One that sticks in mind isn’t even a ‘blood’ ancestor but only by marriage.

For those who have followed my blog for awhile, you probably remember that one of my favorite ancestors is Emery Waller, my maternal 3x great grandfather.  I won’t bore you with all of the details (again!) of his life, finding him in an unmarked grave, ultimately having his grave marked, and being interviewed for the local newspaper about my journey.  It was quite a ride.

Emery’s first wife was Rebecca Parker, whom I wrote about HERE.  Rebecca and Emery married in 1833 and had four daughters – Mary Ann (b. 1833), Caroline (b. 1838), Sarah (b. 1842), and my 2x great grandmother, Rebecca Moriah (b. 1845).  It is very likely that Mom Rebecca died after giving birth to her 4th daughter, Rebecca.

Which left Emery alone raising four daughters and just five months later, on 23 July 1845 in Warren County, Ohio, Emery married Clarinda.  And it’s Clarinda whom I’d like to meet as I have so many questions I’d like to ask her and to thank her for caring for my 2x great grandmother as if she were her own.

Clarinda was born 1 November 1822 in Ohio.  Of course, I’m struggling to find the source of that as I kept very poor records in the beginning (it’s still not my strong suit).  Try as I might, I have been unable to find anything about her parents or even confirmation as to what her last name was.  When Clarinda and Emery married, her last name was Meeker but I’m wondering if that was a married name.  I have found records for a Clarinda Wilson marriage to Jonas Meeker on 31 January, 1839 and then Jonas dying later that year.  Which would have put Clarinda “on the market” in 1845.  But I can’t be sure if Clarinda Wilson is “my” Clarinda.

In 1850, Clarinda and Emery were living in Clinton, Illinois with Sarah, Rebecca, and their two daughters Elizabeth and Hannah who were just 3 and 2 years old.  Mary Ann and Caroline were living nearby with Emery’s parents, Solomon/Salmon and Amelia, and Amelia’s mother, Elizabeth Steel.

By 1860, Clarinda and Emery had moved to Santa Ana, Illinois and there is no sign of Sarah.  In the household are Rebecca, Elizabeth, Nancy/Hannah, and two more children, George and Minnie.

1870 found the family in Farmer City, Illinois but the only two children at home were George and Minnie.  And in 1880, George was on his own and Minnie was with Emery and Clarinda, along with her husband James Jones and daughter Leafy Jones.

What would I say to Clarinda? 

First and foremost – where were you before you married Emery in 1845?  Who were your parents?  That would help me put together many of the puzzle pieces.

How did you and Emery meet?  Were you neighbors?  Did you know his first wife, and my 3x great grandmother, Rebecca?  What was she like?

What was it like to marry a man and instantly become a mother to four little girls?  And then to give birth to five more children, with four of those living into adulthood, before your husband left to fight in the Civil War?  How did you cope all those months alone?  And then your husband returned from the war suffering from disabilities the rest of his life? 

I did learn that you moved with Emery to Kansas after 1880.  Why did you move?

And then found that on or about 27 November 1885, Emery went to reside in Ness City for a year while you stayed behind in Newton for treatment.  Why did Emery leave? 

McPherson Freeman, 27 Nov 1885, Fri, page 3

But then, just three days later, on 30 November, 1885 you succumbed to ‘something like cancer’ after telling your husband that you were improving.  Had the two of you had an argument which caused him to leave?  Did you know the end was near and were trying to spare him the pain of watching you die?

McPherson Freeman, 4 Dec 1885, Fri, page 3

You, my step 3rd great grandmother, were an important part of my life even though we were not ‘blood’ (as my family likes to say).  It’s proof that you don’t have to be blood to be a mother.

Clarinda is buried in McPherson Cemetery, McPherson Kansas next to Emery who died 5 years later.

Clarinda
wife of E.L. Waller
November 30, 1885
Aged
62 years

The pains of death are past
Labor and sorrow cease
And life's long warfare closed at last
Her soul rests in peace

52 Ancestors: Cemetery

While I haven’t spent a lot of time in cemeteries, I do love visiting and find it to be such a quiet and reflective place.  Each grave stone tells a story and I like to think about the circumstances that brought each person there.  Was there a lengthy illness?  Were they involved in an accident?  What loved ones did they leave behind?

Of course one very special cemetery is Oak Hill Memorial Park in San Jose, the cemetery my parents are interred in.  I have so many memories as a child/young adult driving by this beautiful place and listening to my dad exclaim “people are just dying to get in there” or “they tell me business is really dead in there”.  Of course he’d laugh and no one in the car would even begin to think that someday the joke wouldn’t be at all funny as we made arrangements to lay him to rest, to be joined 8 years later by Mom.  I also wrote a bit about finding my 3x great grandfather in the same cemetery HERE. 

This post wouldn’t be complete without memorializing Mom & Dad one more time – of course it wouldn’t have been complete without Dad having his favorite Stanford hat with him!





One of my most treasured visits to a cemetery was in 2012 when I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to wander through Hills of Eternity Memorial Park in Colma, California.  Colma has quite an interesting history which you can read about HERE.  In a nutshell, San Francisco cemeteries were “evicted” in 1912 and the little town of Colma became the City of the Silent when the living became drastically outnumbered by the dead.  In fact, in 2006 there were 1.5 million souls interred within the area and the 2010 census found only 1792 living residents.  Thus was born the slogan “It’s Great to be Alive in Colma”.

There are 16 cemeteries in Colma, including a pet cemetery.  And while I’ve only scratched the surface, since my husband and I both have strong ties to the area, between us we have many, many ancestors within this small town.

I remember driving up to Hills of Eternity with great anticipation of what I’d find.  Since I haven’t spent a lot of time searching in cemeteries, I wasn’t really sure where to even start.





We decided to start at the office.  Seems obvious now but it actually took me a minute to figure that out.  The woman was only too happy to help and was I ever surprised when she pulled this out from behind the desk.



Of course my memory is fading now (darn this getting old sucks) but I remember the thrill of seeing the beautifully written entries (why didn’t I take a picture of that?) and as I scanned, seeing many of my “peeps”.  At one point the woman walked away for a minute to look for something and I remember thinking how easy it would have been to grab the books and run!

The most important visit of the day (and one in which I can remember almost every detail) was coming upon this.



There were my peeps! 



In the front on the left is Ferdinand Gunzendorfer, my 2x great grandfather.  And next to him is Fannie Goldstein Gunzendorfer, my 2x great grandmother.

And the small stone to the right of the large Gunzendorfer stone is my grandmother’s brother, Wilton Louis Gunzendorfer.





After wandering around to see many other ancestors, we stopped at the grave of one of the famous residents, Wyatt Earp.  It’s strange to think that my ancestors are sharing a final resting place with a famous person.



And finally we moved on to Portals of Eternity Mausoleum on the grounds of Hills of Eternity where my great grandparents, Abraham and Bertha (Schwartz) Gunzendorfer, are interred.  It fascinates me as to why so many of my Jewish ancestors were cremated and I was especially disappointed to find that Birdie and Abe were interred so high that it was almost difficult to see their final resting place.  I wish I knew the story behind the scratch – it’s not like someone could have vandalized it.






I’ve been fortunate that when I visit a cemetery, there are typically more than one family member interred there.  And several times I’ve unexpectedly found a surprise ancestor or two.  It sure does pay to look around to see who else you can find.

I’m looking forward to many more cemetery visits in the future but the one that I am most anxious to see is McPherson Cemetery in Kansas, the final resting place of my elusive 3x great grandfather, Emery Waller.  I won’t repeat the story of finding Emery in an unmarked grave and then the honor of having his grave marked but you can read about it HERE.  And just because I love seeing the photo, here it is again.



For all those ancestors I haven’t located yet, I’ll be looking for you!